It’s true that a boat is a large hole in the water that we pour money into.
But let’s face it, a lot of the things we get for our boats are fun. We enjoy buying and using them. TAS (or tackle acquisition syndrome) is a recognised psychological condition experienced by fishermen and results in aberrant behaviour whenever the sufferer has been denied chance to buy the latest tackle.
But even the canniest among us make mistakes. In the enthusiasm of the moment and over-excitement purchases are made that turn out to be like that pair of platform clogs in your wife’s closet – great idea at the time but something to make you shudder in the cold, hard, light of day.
My list of greatest cock-up purchases would have to start with buying a 6.2m boat with an unbraked trailer. It was OK to move short distances in the dry, but add water to the roads and this rig became like a hungry dingo and you never knew when it was going to snap your hand off.
The only time I took it on the motorway was marked by idiots deciding that the real estate I carefully left in front of the car was perfect for them to swoop into and hit the brakes. If it was possible to tie a Falcon steering wheel into pretzel-like knots I would have done it as I stood on the brakes so hard my bum lifted off the seat. More than once.
The very first thing I did to that rig was get some over ride brakes for it and that tamed the beast.
Planing board
This little disaster occurred when I wanted a rig that would get fishing lines and lures down deep. It worked pretty well too, except the cheap rod holder I had clamped to the swim platform support tube was not up to it. It only went a few yards before the rod holder snapped with a bang and the entire rig, with brand new reel and rod, ended up on the sea floor. I got that line down deep all right. Dork. I bought a downrigger next.
1kw transducer
This was like buying a really big gun and finding that the barrel is warped. It’s about the size of a house brick and when it’s running sends up a shower of spray that would make an ocean liner proud. But after dozens of adjustments in height and angle, we’ve managed to get it to work at very low speeds, but that’s it. Cruising speed? Forget it. Every software adjustment made to the sounder at the other end of the lead has resulted in fewer functions working in the sounder. I’ve given up with it before it gets any worse.
The Canopy
This one really gets on my wick because it wasn’t cheap. Aux contraire. The side stays that hold it “up” constantly loosen when you’re in heavy weather, fall on your head and the whole thing goes floppy, and loses water tightness. You know how sometimes when you are doing an arse-puckering run downwind in big seas, tip-toeing the boat through it with the throttle – you can’t just stop and sort the canopy out? I know where I’d like to put the thing and that’s very, very close to the person who made it.
Crocs shoes.
These are excellent on the boat. Comfortable, tough enough to withstand fish spines and they dry easily. The only problem is that any time my wife sees me wearing a pair I can guarantee that marital relations will be suspended for several days. Or even a week.
Shimano Calcutta 400 reel
This thing needed a new set of drag washers every time I used it. In 8 months the cost of replacement washers had overtaken what I spent on the reel. When I complained to the tackle store their response was “Why did you buy that thing in the first place?” “I bought it on your strong recommendation.” Fortunately Shimano tackle has come a long, long, way since then.
Cheap fluorocarbon trace
How many bloody good snapper did I lose with this stuff? My mate Boulder still chuckles about the world championship tanty I threw when I lost a potential 20 pounder off Kawau. I still haven’t admitted to him that I’d saved the thick end of $10 on that spool of trace. Clever eh?
My first outriggers
These were just bent stainless tubes that I put in the rod holders with the rods stuck in the ends. They were wrong in so many ways. First they held the rods so the reels were constantly awash with the bow wave at trolling speed. I had to lean out so far when retrieving the rod that my arse would pucker as I nearly went head first into the drink. We went trolling out off Houhora and kept our fingers crossed all day that we didn’t actually hook anything. It would have been one of those cluster-things you read about. Needn’t have worried because nothing was interested in our pathetic offerings.
Cheap chilly bin.
Another great saving but little did I know that the indentation for the bung was cracked. This allowed a significant quantity of snapper juices to gently seep into the carpet in the car boot after our Sunday fish. Monday afternoon was very hot and as I walked towards the car I thought to myself “bejasis something around here stinks.” I was still a good 20ft away when the awful realisation struck – I knew where the smell was coming from. The drive home was punctuated by dry retching and gagging and the road back to scented harmony involved much scrubbing.
Can’t beat those savings eh?
No comments:
Post a Comment